An offshoot of the "Junior Rider News" Facebook group, the Eq Anon Island has invaded all forms of social media - perfecting the Instagram “pic slip,” coining Twitter hashtags, shilling previously-unheard of products under the guise of ambassadorships...and yes, even starting the occasional ask.fm pile-on.
Here are a few things we amateurs can learn from the junior rider set:
1. If it doesn’t move, monogram it.
Starting the week off right #MonogramMonday #EquiFit #PersonallyPreppy pic.twitter.com/J4E04IRaZT
— DaydreaminEquestrian (@DaydreamingEq) January 5, 2015
2. You can be anything you want, but don’t be a bobo.
The closet of Bobo. If you walk through it, you'll reach Boboland where there's pink everything and unicorns pic.twitter.com/W4c4NRqMte — Anorexic Equestrian (@Ana_Equestrian) March 26, 2015
3. Hermès orange goes with everything.
*over a grocery store PA* will the owner of the jet black maserati please date me and buy me a horse
— Rachel (@showjumperz) April 5, 2015
4. Everything is bae*.
Your horse is bae. Ogilvy is bae. Parlantis are bae. My Barn Child is bae. Starbucks is bae. Ambassadorships are bae. BAE IS BAE.
Bae: "come over" Me: "but I'm riding my horse right now" Bae: "but no ones home" Me: pic.twitter.com/pvaata56Io — Caitlin (@starbsnspurs) April 13, 2015
5. If you want to feel great about yourself, start an ask.fm.
you are wonderful — You are MORE wonderful http://t.co/bL5Jd6Opln — §table Relationship (@DatingMyHorse) April 5, 2015
6. If you want to feel terrible about yourself, start an ask.fm
you always complain about your "friends" so obviously they dont like you either. — Okay awesome http://t.co/UpRdxnoSCm — StrugglingEquestrian (@StruggleBusEq) April 3, 2015
7. Your trainer is definitely a BNT. Definitely.
My trainer's face when I come out of the ring pic.twitter.com/KzkZ6SnDB4
— Equestrian Life (@equestrianlif3) April 14, 2015
8. To make an equine Twitter campaign to go viral, send it to the island. (See: “mind your melon”)
“@dappledbays: this is SO important pic.twitter.com/DN2rZrSnmI” PLEASE wear your helmets #MindYourMelon — Guppy (@stuffnoridersay) April 16, 2015
9. If you don’t stop for a Frappuccino on the way to the barn, you might not be a real rider.
When your horse steals your coffee #justequestrianthings pic.twitter.com/kH6QPKVBMW — Groom's Secrets (@GroomSecrets) April 16, 2015
10. Subtweeting: How to be passive-aggressive in 140 characters or less.
Do you ever wonder if your twitter friends are just pretending and screenshotting things you say to send to their REAL twitter friends? — §table Relationship (@DatingMyHorse) April 16, 2015
11. Your manicure should always match your Ogilvy.
@OgilvyEq thought id continue my color coordination all the way to Lyon! pic.twitter.com/W6u2Xqfldl — Ashlee Bond (@AshleeBond) April 19, 2014
12. Posting iPhone mirror selfies should be a part of every equestrian’s morning routine, just make sure you tag it #rootd.
#OOTD #ROOTD pic.twitter.com/ZDXqxNmbpy — §table Relationship (@DatingMyHorse) April 13, 2015
13. Perfectly groomed eyebrows are the new must-have accessory.
Clipping your horses' ears & realizing you should probably do your own eyebrows before you judge. — Bourbon N Bays (@BourbonNbays) April 14, 2015
14. WEF Crepes are an integral part of a balanced Big Eq Diet.
Someone checking out the VIP tent looking for lunch... #WEF #wef2015 #wef2k15 #wellington #ocala #ocala2015 #2theba… pic.twitter.com/fSSGfTNvnX — Expert On Horses (@ExpertOnHorses) April 7, 2015
15. Make no apologies. Just #sorrynotsorry.
Spotted: Rust breeches at Ring 10 #wef #gohome #sorrynotsorry
— On The Circuit (@OnTheCircuitxo) February 6, 2013
16. Embrace your bad show photos. They’re valuable internet currency.
Don't hug your horse while jumping #FailFriday #FacePlant #GoodSave #WhyDoIDoThis #AirAmateur #AmateurProbs pic.twitter.com/y3WZ5bOoMY — DaydreaminEquestrian (@DaydreamingEq) January 9, 2015
17. No Stirrups November - if you want to ride like a junior, you’ve got to take those suckers off your saddle completely.
Posts the trot without stirrups for one lap "Why don't i look like liLLIE KEENAN?"
— thesilentequestrian (@quietequestrian) March 29, 2015
18. Praise be to George. Amen.
*defines entire riding career with George Morris quotes* — Addi♕ (@sergiosandsand) August 2, 2014
19. Mean Girls quotes can be applied to nearly any situation, despite the fact that most “Anons” were in diapers when the movie came out in theaters.
One time I saw Lillie Keenan wearing a green hunt coat so I went and bought a green hunt coat. #equestrian #meangirls
— CTJumper (@CT_jumper) August 5, 2013
20. From BFFs to BFs, relationships can be fickle...but horses are forever. <3<3
I feed my passions. This one likes hay. pic.twitter.com/4gLWyg3ITj — StrugglingEquestrian (@StruggleBusEq) April 12, 2015
(*”Before Anything Else”)
There’s more where that came from! Head on over to Twitter and check out some of our favorite “Anon” accounts. Beware—The Island will suck you in!
